Science Fiction Brewed Fresh Daily

Seen Online

Curiosity both did and did not kill Schrodinger’s cat.

This May 21st rapture thing is going to create a lot of genetically inferior February babies.

Rainbows and cupcakes and dreams. All of these live in the magic world of Happy-Wonderful Land, but only one of them is edible: sugary, creamy, sinfully fudgy cupcakes. Technically, dreams would also count if you sauteed them long enough.
Squishable ad copy

If it’s a good idea and it gets you excited, try it, and if it bursts into flames, that’s going to be exciting too. People always ask, “What is your greatest failure?” I always have the same answer – We’re working on it right now, it’s gonna be awesome!
Jim Coudal

I’m starting a band that only plays polka songs about Nostradamus’s predictions. We’ll call ourselves Accordion to Prophecy.

Reality’s weirdly uninterested in what you believe.

If he was alive, I bet Hemingway would write some pretty terse teen vampires.

Posted in Humor May 17th, 2011 by Chip
Comments Off on Seen Online

Kenobi is Dead, Says Vader

Vader at Podium

From the Galactic Empire Times:

CORUSCANT — Obi-Wan Kenobi, the mastermind of some of the most devastating attacks on the Galactic Empire and the most hunted man in the galaxy, was killed in a firefight with Imperial forces near Alderaan, Darth Vader announced on Sunday.

In a late-night appearance in the East Room of the Imperial Palace, Lord Vader declared that “justice has been done” as he disclosed that agents of the Imperial Army and stormtroopers of the 501st Legion had finally cornered Kenobi, one of the leaders of the Jedi rebellion, who had eluded the Empire for nearly two decades. Imperial officials said Kenobi resisted and was cut down by Lord Vader’s own lightsaber. He was later dumped out of an airlock.

Be sure to take notice of the ads, related content, and other elements of the page. It’s all wonderful.

I think that my favorite part about the whole thing is that the domain appears to have been registered just to host this page.

(via Blame it On the Voices)

Posted in Humor May 13th, 2011 by Chip
Comments Off on Kenobi is Dead, Says Vader

Seen Online

I won’t be impressed with science until I can download a waffle.

I bet when scientists throw office parties, there’s always the one guy who gets drunk and carbon dates his own butt.

If “dress for the job you want” were true, there would be a lot more people wearing capes.

If I ever get abducted by aliens the first thing I’m going to do is shout “NOT AGAIN!” just to make them think someone in admin fucked up.

You don’t see many pocket protectors nowadays, which explains why so many pockets get murdered.

Can’t believe it took you guys TEN YEARS to find one incredibly well known aging bearded guy hiding in the desert.

Posted in Humor May 4th, 2011 by Chip
Comments Off on Seen Online

Late Bloomer

This short film was a Sundance Festival entry, and is an interesting mashup of high school sex-ed and the writings of H.P. Lovecraft. Where “interesting” should be read as, “really peculiar.”

(via Topless Robot)

Posted in Humor April 29th, 2011 by Chip
Comments Off on Late Bloomer

Gauss Facts

The heck with Chuck Norris; Carl Friedrich Gauss is the real badass.

Gauss didn’t discover the normal distribution, nature conformed to his will.

If Gauss had to walk 100 metres, and half the remaining distance, then half the remaining distance again, and so on, he’d get there.

Parallel lines meet where Gauss tells them to.


Posted in Humor April 27th, 2011 by Chip
Comments Off on Gauss Facts

In Space No One Can Hear You Complain About Your Job

“Art-technology-philosophy group” monochrom is creating a ten-part improv-reality sitcom about life on the International Space Station.

The four actors playing the ISS crew must develop strategies on the fly in response to surprise situations, which are loosely based on actual ISS data uncovered by monochrom.

Here’s the first episode. The others (there are currently three, plus some extra video goodness) are here.

(via BoingBoing)

Posted in Humor, Space April 26th, 2011 by Chip
Comments Off on In Space No One Can Hear You Complain About Your Job

Little Thor

Marvel did this spoof of the “Little Vader” VW ad to promote the movie Thor. The dog’s name on its bowl and the car license plate are nice touches.

(via Blame it On the Voices)

Posted in Humor April 25th, 2011 by Chip
Comments Off on Little Thor

Insta Meme: Sexy Sagan

Sexy Sagan

Several more on Buzzfeed.

(via Blame It On the Voices)

Posted in Humor April 20th, 2011 by Chip
Comments Off on Insta Meme: Sexy Sagan

This Kid is Going to Go Places

During a trip to Disneyland, Sariah Gallego was chosen from the audience to battle Darth Vader. She decided to switch sides instead.

I particularly like the reactions from the storm troopers in the background.

(via io9, who points out that their source titled this, “Kids Turn to the Darndest Sides”)

Posted in Humor April 12th, 2011 by Chip
Comments Off on This Kid is Going to Go Places

Seen Online

“IT WAS DEAD THE WHOLE TIME!” – if M. Night Shyamalan directed Schrödinger’s Cat

Liz Taylor instructed she arrive 15 min late to her own funeral. I’ve instructed my body disappear down a sudden wormhole.

Think your job sucks? Remember, there’s a satellite whose job is beaming episodes of ‘According to Jim’ to Earth.

Disney should do a movie about a princess that talks to woodland creatures and they convince her to go to grad school.

Little kids need to be taught that the 5th time they ask the same question, their grandpa will be eaten by a robot wolf.

Left the waitress a tip of $4.04. Now I’m concerned she won’t be able to find it.

Posted in Humor April 11th, 2011 by Chip
Comments Off on Seen Online