Woke up with the head of a tauntaun in my bed. Next I’ll be fitted for a pair of carbonite shoes and dropped into the Dagobah swamp.
— MrBigFists

THEY FIND 17 MORE MINUTE OF STANLEY KUBRICK 2001! BECAUSE THAT WHAT PEOPLES COMPLAIN MOST ABOUT! MOVIE BEING TOO SHORT!
— DRUNKHULK

It’d be awkward if the Apocalypse came, but it was the Apocalypse of a dead religion? “Oh, uh, we’ve been waiting for this other dude…”
— Aimee_B_Loved

“Effects of Long-Term Surprise Barbiturate Use on the Human Brain: A (Personal) Case Study,” by Dr. Bosco Albert Baracus
— scottsimpson

Yo mamma so fat, she sat on a binary tree and flattened it into a linked list in O(1) time.
— kyriii