I wish there was a time machine just to send spoiled L.A. kids to World War II.
— thesulk

If homosexuality is a disease, I am calling in lesbian tomorrow.
— iMelbel

Big weekend coming. My Star Trek club is going to dress as Klingons and ambush some Civil War re-enactors.
— JerryThomas

Nonsequitaur. Half man, half horse, half grilled cheese sandwich.
— badbanana

If I owned a lightsaber, pruning my hedges would go much quicker.
— k2bf

The road to Hell is paved with good intentions, but Hell’s patio is resurfaced with a nice textured concrete. Contractor did a great job.
— adamisacson

If Neo would have taken the blue pill, The Matrix would’ve been the exact same movie, except he’d have had a hard on the whole time.
— sucittaM