“Top Ten” Science Fiction Edition
The “Little Fivers” site has an entire sub-category of science fiction-related “top ten” lists, such as this one, “The Top 10 Grievances of the Sci-Fi Characters Union:”
10> Silver spandex jumpsuits make our asses look like huge sparkly disco balls.
9> Much as we like to save Earth, the Universe and Everything on a regular basis, we’d like to get paid commensurate with our skill set. In other words, enough with the chump change! Show us some GRATITUDE! Monetarily, of course…
8> Those Borg scabs get all the best perks thanks to their unique approach to collective bargaining.
7> Half of the union has filed sexual harassment complaints against Lazarus Long, including his own past and future selves.
6> While we understand that spandex shows off our attributes — for those of us that have them — we find it really rides up in the crotch. So, NO MORE SPANDEX!!!
5> Dental benefits for “Aliens” exclude any sets of teeth that extend more than 6 inches in front of the face.
4> The gagh in the commissary is never served alive.
3> First transported down, first transported back up.
2> Medical insurance does not cover having one’s DNA rewritten, despite the regularity of the event.
and the Number 1 Grievance of the Sci-Fi Characters Union…
1> The Universal Brotherhood of BEMs demand human movies/TV stop falsely portraying aliens as hot human babes in tight clothing. We’re bug-eyed. We’re monsters. And we’re damned proud of it!