I like my women the way I like my Star Wars films – At least 27 years old & never having had Hayden Christensen in them.
— elibraden

I wonder if Frodo ever stood over Boromir’s grave and said, “Huh. I guess one *does* simply walk into Mordor.”
— sween

Fundamentalists…are possessed & driven by the lies of demons…Actual demons like ignorance, apathy, greed, racism, fear & Barney.
— Maynard Keenan (Lead singer of the group “Tool”)

Wave your copy of Atlas Shrugged in the air and I’ll smack you in the face with my copy of The Jungle.
— CcSteff

When you’re a cyclops, hindsight is 20.
— tehawesome

Yeah, you won’t like “Avatar” because they’re blue like Smurfs. Sort of like how you don’t like sex because Elmer Fudd’s a human.
— sween

Hide your crazy next to your passion. They can’t tell the difference.
— rands

Stand up, the toilet flushes. Wave a hand, the faucet turns on and the paper towels eject. I know I’ll never be a Jedi. Let me have this.
— adamisacson

The world’s first sex robot doesn’t cook or clean and will still fake an orgasm. This sounds vaguely familiar.
— thedayhascome

That’s ok, Spider-Man. Put on your costume first. The Green Goblin won’t kill that many people while you protect your secret identity. Ass.
— sween