I think it would be fun to watch vegan college students rationalize eating roadkill during the Apocalypse.
— robdelaney

Stupid zombies won’t stay inside their chalk outlines.
— JerryThomas

Japan also has Amish people; they drive around in cars instead of teleporting in giant robots.
— OuterJohn

Too bad if 90 percent of it is stupid. That’s how creativity works.
— Linus Torvalds

Natalie Portman had a son. In unrelated news, everyone here on the Death Star is suddenly looking a little nervous. #StarWars
— DeathStarPR

If I was Indy, I would’ve totally boned the “love you” eyelids chick.
— thesulk

Nobody ever thinks it’s their monster that’ll end up in a burning windmill.
— hotdogsladies

What I love about the internet is if my leg fell off, I’d get a lot of messages going, “Poor you!” but at least one saying, “Can I have it?’”
— shoesonwrong