Now that Disney has bought Marvel, I can’t wait for She-Hulk to be the new Disney Princess
— Sargent

I bought a carton of oat milk just to support the kind of person who can find udders on an oat.
— warrenellis

Robot Celebrity Impersonator: “I AM JACK NICHOLSON. HERE IS JOHNNY. THAT IS ALSO ED MCMAHON. TIP YOUR WAITBOT.”

WHAT HAPPENS IN ROBOT LAS VEGAS IS ERASED FROM THE DATA BANKS AND WRITTEN OVER SEVEN TIMES IMMEDIATELY UPON EXITING ROBOT LAS VEGAS.

COME VISIT ROBOT LAS VEGAS. SEE SIEGFRIED & ROY MAULED BY ROBOT TIGERS NIGHTLY. NO, NOT ROBOT SIEGFRIED & ROY. JUST SIEGFRIED & ROY. WHY?

IN ROBOT LAS VEGAS, ALL HOOKERS HAVE A HEART OF GOLD. GOLD IS AN EXCELLENT CONDUCTOR OF ELECTRICITY.

— sween

Your mom’s so Web 2.ho that she only stands on rounded corners.
— tehawesome

I know I’m raising a nerd when the only way I can get him to help around the house is by saying “Quentin, You are my only hope!”
— MonikkaB

Don’t you hate it when time travelers from the future want a photo with you but then refuse to say why they’re laughing?
— badbanana

Schrödinger’s kids eventually stopped asking for new pets.
— sween