CHAPTER V THE CURSE OF BEING TWO Eirini slipped away as soon as the castle chamberlain had shown him his suite. Trajan had to admit grudgingly that Huigo Moritz was an excellent host and true to his word. The Simu-fire of a burning sea was toned to the proper level of temperature, fastidiously. Fresh nightclothes were neatly folded on the bed, the blankets self-tucking and thermo-regulated and crowning it all, a pool of warm water with just the right rhythm of music and massage swirl had been prepared in the bathsuite. Trajan heaved a sigh and leaned against the fused door. Despite misgivings towards his host, he felt grateful for the comfort and restful atmosphere that awaited him in the guestroom with its seductively glowing walls. He tore off his garments, and wandered into the chanting pool of massaging water. While bathing, his thoughts were never far away from the brick wall, the steel gate and the roof. Lying down on the bed for thirty minutes of rest, his mind turned to piece together a scheme of action. He then stood up, opened his case and selected warmer clothing. He had scarcely put his rephar in the inside pocket of his jacket when the door of his room softly chimed. He did not use the remote control but something he had never done before: he made the door to part. Eirini stood in the doorway, in woolies and trousers, and she had a flashlight in her hand. He invited her to take a seat and said, pulling on his boots and all the while conscious how she was scrutinizing his moves and mannerism: "I have to do what I came here for, but are you sure that you want to come with me?" He glanced at her, at her seemingly calm determined face. "Yes, I am very sure." He shook his head. "I'd rather you wouldn't. I am more a commander than a Lar, Eirini. I am sometimes forced to take drastic action that you may not like." "I must come with you, Trajan." Her voice started on a high, vehement edge but she managed to tone it down in time. He was tempted to ask 'why' but changed his mind quickly. He would hate himself if she was forced to give a candid answer that he did not like. And, he had come to Casteltheyne for a reason. "All right then, if you must. I have a question to ask before we go scouting but you need not answer if you don't want to. What is in that shed behind the wall?" "Oh that," Eirini breathed in relief. "That used to be a laboratory of some sort where Huigo's younger brother Wyllan conducted his experiments. I was told he was killed there by an accident." "He was killed in that shed! And the local authorities did nothing about it?" Eirini shrugged. "The rumours say it was a private family tragedy." "Come," Trajan started up from his chair. "I have left some of my things in the Affra," They left the warmth of the bedroom side by side and went into the dim and cooler spaces of the hallways. The whole castle was cast in slumber and other than the echoing melodies of the fading Simu-fires, profound stillness ruled the airwaves. Outside a wind from the south had breezed in and strands of warmer air threaded through the brittle frost of the night. Trajan hurried to the Affra which was still parked beneath a portico on the right wing of the castle. The locks on the aero still looked secure and he fingered in the access codes. "Come inside," he said to Eirini, "it is warmer in the Affra. It will only take a few minutes." She watched in silence as he armed himself with more equipment, the multilyzer, the range-scanner, the stylet torch. He also tucked a sheathed poniard in his belt. He then proceeded to key in the microcom. Eirini's eyes widened as she observed in fascination that he was scanning through the secured sites of the Stewardship, the logs recording the tragic demise of Wyllan Moritz. The site contents were scrambled except for a terse news announcement. Her chin almost touched his shoulder as she silently acquainted herself with the facts of the tragedy which occurred in Cycle 163 of Fourth Radix: Wyllan Moritz, younger son of Dama Megryanne and Lar Dazgil Moritz, First Degree in Physics and Expert Degree in Computer Language. A brilliant scientist and professor by all accounts, promising to become one of the foremost vanguards of the scientific community and killed in his prime by an unfortunate accident. One of his experiments had malfunctioned and exploded in his face. The science world joined his bereaved family in their sorrow. Nothing more specific was registered. Since the accident occurred on the grounds of Casteltheyne, it was not in the power of the Stewardship to launch an investigation without the reigning Dama Protector's sanction. Trajan blanked out the screen and looked up. Their eyes met and he briefly smiled: "Are you ready?" He wanted to say 'there is still time to back out' but thought that he shouldn't cast her in so poor a light that she wasn't able to defend herself. Eirini was a fighter and the tag of a youngslady in distress would only malign her courage. She nodded and he could not understand that brief flash of confusion, of pain. Assuming an air of non-committance in which he hardly succeeded he said: "I suppose you want to find Eugene. Let's find him then first of all and you have to lead the way. You know the castle grounds better than I do." "I wouldn't dare to go out on the grounds if it weren't for you," she suddenly blurted and blushed. He said nothing for fear of betraying himself. "There is one thing that you should know," Eirini continued. "I've told neither Huigo nor the others that I've seen Eugene. I just caught a glimpse of him and I was not too sure then but I am sure now, especially after Dama Edina urged me to find you. She has convinced me that something odd is going on and don't you find it strange that Dama Anjelie is here and doesn't even know what they have done to her son?" "She may know far more than you think," Trajan replied, opening the aerodoor and swinging his legs onto the gravel path. "Let us go now." The castle loomed out against the skyline with domes and pinnacles sombre and black as most of the wall lights had been programmed to dim at the stroke of Meridian Noxt. It gave no sign of life but Trajan told Eirini to walk in the shadows nonetheless. She moved briskly forward, crossing the woods, passing the brick wall until she pulled to a halt at the foot of the southern wing and pointed to where coils of clematis wove wild and neglected along the walls. "The wooden door must be behind there somewhere. We have to move carefully or we will miss it. It is not easy to find." Trajan pulled his multilyzer from his pocket. "Let me." With the aid of the multilyzer it took him mere seconds to hit upon the hidden entrance. He stood and paused before the low and narrow door. So far no one had interfered but he fostered no illusions. They were there, they were waiting and probably watching. Behind that door his nightmare would turn into reality and he told Eirini: "You may find Eugene inside but you may not like it." She appeared cool and confident; she had the self-mastery of a commander. The wind was playing with her hair and the glossy waves flowed about her face. Her eyes were plaintively studying his face. "Do I have a choice?" "You don't have to make such choices, Eirini, especially if they are bad." Eirini bit her lip. "Can one have a change of heart without feeling guilty?" He finally understood. He put his hands on her shoulders. "Eirini, look at me." But she resisted him, and looked away but he had seen the tears glistening in her eyes. "Please, Trajan, don't," she whispered, turning her back to him. "Not here, not now. Don't make it harder for me, it is like being torn to pieces." "I don't want to see you hurt, Eirini." He sighed moodily. "Let's go back, it is too dangerous." She spoke stubbornly with her face still averted: "It is not the time to think of ourselves only. It is not only Eugene; the whole household here is in jeopardy. We cannot abandon them." His hands caressed her shoulders. His fingers touched her cheeks, feeling the warm moisture and wiping the tears off gently. "Let's get on then, we have already come so far." Trajan stepped forward without another word, one hand clasping hers and the other pushing open the low, heavy door which swung backwards with a grating sound and thudded against the wall. The needle-sharp flares of his stylet torch pierced a path through the darkness of the hallway. They came upon the closed door at the bottom of the staircase. "The door was locked when I was here last," Eirini told him. "We go up the stairs," Trajan said. "I want to find Dama Edina first of all." The flight of stairs led them to another narrow dim-lit corridor which stretched away to a dead-end, a bare wall of stone, but on closer observation it bent in a perpendicular angle to the right, into a passage so narrow they had to manoeuvre sideways with their faces close to the walls to get through. Still clasping Eirini's hand Trajan stepped into a banquet hall, musty with age and gloom. His keen eyes glanced around the hall. Tall windows screened off by brocade curtains, on the bays plants of the kind that flourished in semi-darkness, thick carpets of which the patterns were a blurred reminder of a former luxury, armchairs, literature on a writing desk and a silk-sheeted Anima-Bed in a corner. A double door on the other end was closed. For all its comforts the hall, which seemed to have been converted into living quarters in a hasty and haphazard way, was not fitted with modern amenities that had so distinguished the rest of the castle. Trajan walked over to the desk and looked over the scattered literature. They were in fact speechtomes designed for the irreparably blind. Poetry, philosophy, physics and astronomy amongst other things: Dama Edina had a rich mixture of taste. He looked up and his eyes sought Eirini who had meanwhile stole around the room, exploring the plants, the bed and the door. She portrayed an image of a curious wandercat and he couldn't help smiling that he likened her to those pearl-eyed, sleek-furred creatures, sporadically seen, scarcely heard but certainly there, keeping household pests away with their ultrasonic yowls. Castles and mansions with rooms and halls to spare that were seldom trodden were their favourite habitat. The House of Ermiz had its fair share of these resilient, secretive creatures and no doubt must Casteltheyne, although so far his Seventh Sense was not able to interpret even one meow. Eirini suddenly fled back to his side and grabbed his arm. "I hear something. Someone is coming, Trajan," she whispered. "About time," Trajan said. He remained where he stood, slightly leaning against the desk and Eirini pressed very close against him. The door divided and someone who had the appearance of Eugene Trevarthen entered the room, but looking more devastatingly charming in an elegant black dinner suite, and more vicious. "Well!" he exclaimed, smiling, exposing a row of white teeth, too perfect and a bit too sharp for comfort. "At last!" His eyes, red on brown, glistened fiery bright like two burning rubies. * * * "That is not Eugene!" Eirini cried out. "What have they done to him!" "No, he is not Eugene," Trajan said, "although you could say that he is Eugene's twin." The spectre of this Eugene was not alone. Behind his back hovered the heavy figures of Ronen Wakren and another individual whom Eirini immediately recognized as one of the taciturn Phycels who had stood guard by the brick wall and whom Trajan recognized as one of Eugene's would-be abductors. "I have named myself Nagus," Nagus said, "since Two cannot bear the same name and despite the fact I am not Eugene's twin, in fact I am him because I remember and he does not. But many disagree, even his mother. And since he and I are essentially one, I am aware of his aspirations towards this lovely lady." He stretched out his hand invitingly in Eirini's direction. "I cannot wait to find out for myself." Trajan felt Eirini's fingers clawing at his arm and Nagus measured him with fiery eyes as one would measure a menace and a threat. "Ah, my Lar Ermiz, we meet at last. I have heard so much about you. It is a pity that we cannot make our acquaintance in more congenial circumstances, to be appropriately presented to you as an equal, to be able to mingle with guests but as you see they think that I am different." "I gather your self-introduction is a precursor to something big and important, so important in fact that even the master of this house allows you to take over the reins and play host in his place." Nagus displayed his gleaming teeth in a thin smile. "I always wanted to meet you, Trajan Schurell, and now that we finally stand here eye to eye, you overwhelm me. You are everything of what Eugene thinks and says of you, and far more. And Eugene himself would simply be overjoyed to see you both. If you allow me, I will lead you straight to him." He backed away from the door with a mocking bow. "After you, dear youngslady, and you, my Lar. I know what you are besides a Lar and I'd rather have you walking in front of me." Nagus stood in such a way in the door opening that Eirini had to graze past him within a hair's-breadth to go through, and her face looked pale and strained with revulsion and loathing. Trajan put an arm around her shoulders and briefly brushed her ear with his lips whispering a few words. A bright colour flushed her cheeks as she broke away from him and flew through the door into the hallway. Trajan held a brief duel with the red eyes of his adversary. He then followed Eirini and Nagus came right behind him, and he felt as if those eyes were spitting flames at his back. * * * When they had crossed the hallway, Wakren quickened his pace and overtook them, parting doors and directing them the way. He seemed to carry no weapons but he hardly needed to when his second master Nagus was in such absolute control. Now and then while he was walking up front he glanced over his shoulder, very quickly, as if something bothered him. 'Our boy here doesn't like to have Nagus walking behind him any more than I do,' Trajan thought grimly. Before another set of double doors Wakren came to a halt and turned round. His face appeared unruffled but tiny drops of sweat studded his forehead. "Go right in," Nagus's voice whispered in the rear. "You Ronen, stay outside." The room was only half-lit by a table lamp beside a wide bed. Eirini had gone forward but then she halted, her hands clenched. The door fused shut behind Nagus's back and he walked across, taking the lamp and holding it high above the bed. Eugene lay under the blankets inert, almost lifeless, and the light did not even wake him up. Trajan need not take a second look to assure himself that this was indeed his blood relative whom he had entertained lately but so was the other holding the lamp, his eyes two vermilion points glowing in the shadows. Trajan could not see Eirini's face; she was avoiding him for some reason. The silence packed closer around them. "Is he all right?" she asked and her clear voice sliced through the palpitating tension like a knife. "Why don't you look for yourself," Nagus said and he backed away from the bed with a snarl curled on his lips. But Eirini remained on the spot like a statue and Trajan gazed at her anxiously. He had expected her to rush to Eugene and give him all the comfort that she would give, even though it was a sight he would not rather see. "Eirini," he said softly and reached out a hand to touch her. As if stung into action by his voice, she started forward and dropped on her knees beside the bed, cradling Eugene's head in her arms as if he was just a sick child. Trajan felt something plummet in his heart. "Shouldn't we leave them alone?" he asked curtly, turning to Nagus. What he saw made his blood run cold. The flames in those queer eyes had died out, there was only a pool of darkness, a black morass of tortured existence and bitter resentment. This creature was nature abused and violated, something conceived out of a most tragic misjudgment, a breach of trust which even now stirred Starglory into anger. It fidgeted in his clenched fist and his fingers started to open. 'Steady now,' he commanded, 'steady!' The terrible moment passed and the room fell back into peace, as Nagus wheeled round and left. Trajan did not stir; Starglory was brought under control now. Or rather, he had managed to control his own emotions that now controlled Starglory. What is unfolding in this castle and continues to unfold will rub his emotions raw. He must find a way to put a stop to this insanity, very soon. He went out of the room and followed Nagus, who walked straight ahead while the two Phycels in their roles of guards closed in behind them. Trajan felt Wakren's hand clutching his shoulder. "My Lar," he said, "allow me to lead you to the library. This way please." Ronen Wakren steered him away from Nagus's trail into a different direction, which brought him to the library where the greater part of it lay darkened and only a small corner was illuminated by three wall lamps. The Simu-Fire in the centre was meant to effuse warmth and coziness but its tunes sounded hoarse and off-key. Drinks were laid out on a tray, and Anjelie Trevarthen was awaiting his presence. The comnager exited as soon as he had brought in his visitor and Trajan stood tall and straight, his eyes darkly scrutinizing the Dama. "From the moment I met you I somehow got the feeling that you were going to be the bane of my life. I doubt it no longer. You have acquired a talent for throwing my life into disarray. What is it you want now, Anjelie Trevarthen?" Anjelie stood up from the sofa where she was lounging. "Don't look so angry, Trajan Schurell. I have never harboured any ill-feeling towards you. You are well liked by Eugene and in this respect I don't disagree with him. Won't you join me for a drink? Something to liven up your spirits?" Trajan seated himself on an armchair that faced hers and declined the offer. Anjelie poured herself a glass of wine and returned to her sofa, one arm nonchalantly draped across its low back. "Why can't we be friends," she purred, "After all, we share a common interest, you and me." "Please enlighten me, my Dama. What common interest could we possibly share?" Anjelie shook her finger, smiling amusedly. "Come now, don't be shy. I am sensing a reluctance there to become involved. I'll come straight to the point. "Like it or not, my dear boy, you are already involved. Even if I do not wholly comprehend the powers which you now seem to control, I have observed that they have not made you proud or impertinent or any more different than the most ordinary of Phylee-Patreans, an admirable trait I must confess. I can only hope that you look upon my proposal with the same wisdom. In some strange way you remind me of your great-grandfather, my Lar. It is something that I have to accept with difficulty but there is no doubt that you are his descendant and that we are your family. All the ingredients are there to form an alliance." "Now you are talking business. An alliance against whom?" "What I have in mind is not exactly an offensive alliance, rather more to defend and safeguard the interests of the Trevarthen protectorate." Trajan crossed his legs and said: "Since you have approached me with such bluntness, I will do the same. "Not so long ago you attempted to form a similar alliance, with Dama Lisaloran and Byrull, but it did not work out exactly as you planned. You wanted to use them, but in turn they used you to get their hands on Starglory. Isn't that what happened, Dama Anjelie? Your Lar left it in your hands for safekeeping but you knew the remarkable forces it has and you wanted to bring it under your control but you did not know how. I imagine too that you kept a close eye on Trevarthen Hall and knew all along what Dama Lisaloran and her company were scheming to do." "Your great-grandfather," Dama Anjelie said, rising from her seat, her eyes hard as granite, "wanted a child, an heir, since the others had so shamefully deserted him. He and I had a business agreement. I would give him what he desired and he would make me Dama Trevarthen. I gave him Eugene but he was a restless soul and had to go away again. But before he went, he needed someone to entrust with the care of the Hexstone. Leoynar was presumed dead at the time and your grandfather was clearly not someone he could trust and I was the only person conveniently present. You could say that he had also used me. But as you have so brilliantly observed, to assume the responsibility as a mere caretaker wasn't to my liking; I wanted more." "I cannot give you what you want." Anjelie Trevarthen stretched her lips into an icy and contemptuous smile. "I've expected it would be futile trying to coax you into cooperating. I have not forgotten that you are a commander despite the fancy title of Lar Protector. But Eugene's future is at stake here, and for Eugene I am willing to sacrifice everything. What do I care about you or anyone in this castle. Eugene is the only one who matters to me and it was for his sake that I have lured you here. "Ah, you have overlooked this possibility, haven't you? You wouldn't have come willingly if I had asked you but you wouldn't so easily refuse a request coming from Eugene and subsequently a plea of help from someone who holds him dear. And I congratulate myself on my foresight because here you are, in spite of all your cleverness." "You can think of only Eugene," Trajan said, "but haven't you conveniently forgotten someone, someone as large as life, as Eugene himself." Anjelie's voice was flat and toneless: "There is only Eugene." "In case you don't know, he calls himself Nagus." "He does not exist." Slowly Trajan stood up. "He walks the castle grounds like a plague, looking and acting foul. Looking like your son! I don't think you would have revealed that Starglory was in your possession if an accident had not happened. The accident made you decide otherwise. It is obvious that you want me to do something about this situation, about him. Tell me first, is Nagus Eugene's twin and what has caused this mutation?" Anjelie stood immovable with her right shoulder against a row of bound literature. When he thrust his question she swung to face him and Trajan involuntarily started. For a second he was grateful that the room had a semblance of light with the Simu-fire and the twinkle of the wall lamps. He would not for all the wealth of this planet come across such a face again, glaring at him with such vengeance from the twilight. She passed a hand over her eyes and in the next moment there was nothing to see; the hole through which he caught a glimpse of her twisted side had been plugged as quickly as it had punctured. "What do you expect me to do about Nagus, Dama Anjelie?" he asked pressingly. She once more settled down on the sofa. "Dispose of it." "You want me to commit murder?" "It is not real, an abomination and it wants my son." "He is alive, my Dama, and I cannot destroy life." She argued in a dull voice: "I ask nothing for me, but I am begging you to do it for Eugene." She paused and when she spoke again, her voice was louder and sharper. "If Eugene means nothing to you, do not forget that Eirini Vrillenar is also in this castle. Lar Moritz's family had been influenced by me to take her in, as an exchange for Eugene's freedom, since craving to possess everything what is Eugene's the other covets her too." With a sharp crack Anjelie's empty glass on the table blew apart and fragments flew and strewed through the air like sharp hail. She gave a little shriek as a glinting sliver brushed her cheek. Trajan turned away, clenching his fists, nails biting into his skin. "Damn you, Anjelie!" He said nothing more for he sensed the Other coming closer. Anjelie must have also sensed the same thing for she jumped up from her seat and made for a side door in a corner eclipsed by shadows. She made an impulsive turn and chuckled. "Things have turned out better than I expected! A second there I thought that it could not be happening, but it has. I have sprinkled salt on a raw wound, haven't I? Lar Ermiz, despite your power, you are weak and sentimental like the rest of us!" With these last, ringing words spat at him in defiance, Anjelie made her exit at the same time as the main door of the library divided. It was only Wakren who took one peek into the library and consequently made one shake of the head to someone in the corridor before hastily retreating. Nagus entered at his smiling and gloating best. "I have come to an arrangement with my diabolical mother," he said. If he had called Anjelie Trevarthen a noble soul, the words would have sounded equally obscene coming from his twitching lips. "We don't see eye to eye, literally. We are too much alike, I suppose." His face contorted with a spasm of bitter mockery. "I like this situation. So, when she knows I am in the vicinity she will clear the deck and I will do likewise." He appeared to have taken a shower or a bath, his hair was clinging and shining with moisture. He had changed into a fresh set of clothes and seemed to possess enough energy and enthusiasm to talk and entertain all night. The night was becoming unbearably long. "If you would excuse me," Trajan began, "it is already very late and--." "One moment, my Lar," Nagus' voice cracked out sharp and brittle as breaking ice. "Don't you want to know the reason why you are here?" "I think that has been made clear enough to me." Nagus approached him in a few brisk steps and Trajan held his ground. "You are intended to be the instrument of my destruction." "A very good guess." Nagus laughed, a series of high, angry and hysterical peals bouncing to and fro between the walls of the library. He clammed up as suddenly as he had stretched his lips in merriment and stretched them again to speak: "Yes, they lured you here with the purpose to kill, murder, hack me to death, whatever, but they forgot that I have my purpose too, because Eugene cannot exist without me, and I am nothing without him. It is as simple as that." "What happened to you, and Eugene? What made you this way?" "Eugene was once me and I was once him until an experiment changed that." "I don't think I understand." "I don't understand it myself." Nagus' whole face looked as though it was wrapped up in flames as he went on with flaring eyes: "They are certainly prepared to do murder to get you here. You, the saviour, the avenger, you who will cleanse Casteltheyne of all its follies and its sins! Planning, plotting, and not even knowing, not even realizing that I, Nagus, as much as they, no, much more than they, want you here too to stand by my side!" Trajan stared, struck speechless. He was none too sure whether to feel angry, flattered or amused. Nagus did not give him time to overcome his perplexity. Grabbing him by the shoulders Eugene's alter ego pushed him against the wall. The red eyes were like brands burning into his face. "Yes, you, Trajan Schurell. Eugene has always refused to join me. I restrained him as a captive but still he refuses. No matter. You and I will make the pair of this Radix. Trajan, you are the only one who has not shown repugnance towards me, rather sorrow. Is that not true? Join me, brother, with Starglory. Once I was its Keeper too. I have a need to join and we will be powerful as One!" Trajan leaned back against the wall wearily. The hands clutching him felt cold like stone and looked white as if even blood had fled in horror; yet there was the energy of a pulsar vibrating within the creature. "Don't you realize Starglory hates you with a hate I don't understand. It will do you more grievous harm and you can thank your lucky stars that I control it now. There will be no more use of this force. Tell me what happened, what it did to you when you were normal and maybe I can be of help." Nagus released him and retreated backwards in the direction of the door. His long teeth glistened like sharpened knives. "Your honour constrains you. What a pity. I have to figure out other means of persuasion." Nagus vanished into the corridor and Trajan stood alone. He felt dizzy and sick. With a deep breath he pulled himself together and left the library. As he walked briskly towards his suite, he fought a cascade of emotions, grief and fury and outrage. 'I cannot carry the burden of Starglory!' But--'The burden only you can carry', Krystan had written. 'Lar Irwain, you have abused the guardianship of Starglory!' But, the accusation chafed like a laceration. What could his great-grandfather have done? --'Lar Irwain found it and kept it but he did not have the strength to control it. Trajan, you have to find that strength.'-- 'I am here just to pick up the pieces of the scrutting mess that others have made.' --'Part of your task is to learn from the mistakes of others and of your own. Only a hair-fine grey thread divides right and wrong and often you have to walk that thin grey line.'-- Trajan found himself back in his suite. The lamps were switched on and dimmed, the Simu-fire still lit and Eirini was sitting on the bed. Eirini...? She had tucked herself into the blankets but drew upright when she saw him framed against the fused door, taut and brooding. She spoke to him in a clear and purposeful voice: "Did you mean what you said to me in Dama Edina's room?" "I meant every word of it." "No pretensions, no secrets, no false promises?" "I am a Captain of the Spacio Command. I have secrets to keep." "Which means that you also have to tell lies or do you coat your secrets with honey into half-truths and people fall for it begging for more?" Trajan raised his eyebrows. "Are we having our first tiff?" Eirini suppressed an insane giggle. Eugene had always shied away from being drawn into an argument but this Captain of the Command was goading her to a fight, looking so stern, yet so vulnerable. "Trajan!" she cried out, "I don't know what to do! You've said that I don't have to make bad choices, but I have to choose. It is not the choice that is bad. It's what will come after I have chosen." "Eirini, then make the right choice. What I have said to you is the bare truth, not marinated, not sugar-coated, not even potioned with a charm." He glanced at her askance with a slight twitch to his mouth. Eirini breathed deeply. Don't look at me that way, don't, I-- Eirini jumped off the bed and he started towards her. She leapt into his waiting arms and he caught her smoothly without losing his balance, even with the rush of her action as if he was ready to catch her. Holding her close, he whispered, "Let it go, Eirini, let it go. Clinging on to loyalty that brings no hope will help neither you nor me. I want you and you are betraying no one." She clasped his face and gazed into his eyes. Sometimes dark grey, now flaring purple, she saw in those eyes a field of emotions but also a soaring blaze which she had not seen before in others and it was there only for her. She flung her arms around his neck and pressed her body against him. She could feel everything that was him, tense, warm and tight against her skin. "You don't know me well enough. How can you Give?" "I know you. At the spaceodrome I looked into you. Forgive me, I didn't want to, but you were so open in your distress. You are full of beauty, Eirini, inside and out. Open yourself once again. Take me and when I Give you me, you will know me too." She looked once more into his eyes, in the passion of their changing colours and her flimsy gown slipped off her body, her body that was tingling with a sudden glow. A glow that came from the warming of her blood, her blood that began surging like warm rivers through her back membranes, membranes vibrating in gossamer ripples like ghostly wings of fireflies in flight. "Eirini, you are on fire." "Don't put it out." As the pale lights of morning prime began to break over the purple crests of the downs, Eirini Took Trajan and his Giving was both gentle and fierce.