The Cafe


The O*W*C has recently come into possession of a work of great scholarly research, investigated at some risk by the dauntless ECharles. Despite the obvious dangers of publicizing information about this secret society, we have decided that the truth should be known. Here, in its entirety, is ECharles' document.

Great Seal of the Tuthidian Order

The Teuthidian Order

     Secret societies are not, as a rule, genuinely secret. Their rites and motivations may be hidden from the public - but their existence, though not broadcast, is generally known outside of their ranks.

     In stark contrast, the Teuthidian Order is a secret society that has endeavored over the centuries to conceal its very existence from all those that are not among its membership. Whenever some hint of the Order has escaped, the Order has exerted itself to eliminate the source and erase from the record that which has been revealed. How effective have these efforts been? Enter the word "Teuthidian" into any internet search engine. Compare the number of hits with those for other "secret" societies like the Illuminati, the Rosicrucians or the Knights Templar. The numbers speak for themselves.

     The seal of the order is one of the few evidentiary items that the order has been unable to fully eradicate. The representation above (which has been redrawn from a source that was simply too fragile and faded to scan) offers a few meager clues. The references to squid, the sea and the stars are all quite evident -- their meaning less so.

     I've been able to unearth a few meager literary references to the Order. Unfortunately, they do little more than establish the extraordinary secretiveness of the Order.

Although they all possessed secrets and interests that were clear only at the highest organizational levels, all of the knightly orders were at least known to (and sanctioned by) the royal family and the clergy. If there is an exception, it would be the (almost certainly apocryphal) Teuthidian Order. The origins of this order (if it ever did truly exist) seem to greatly predate the 12th century when most of the knightly orders were established. Indeed, it is possible that the Order predates the Christian era. According to one scholar, Seneca (the younger) reworded the Order's motto slightly and made use of it in his tragedy Hercules.

From: Secret Societies of the Ancients by Osgood Varley (1879)

The constellation that appears on the seal of the Teuthidian Order is one of the few tools we have to identify personages associated with the order. While in England I had the opportunity to view Leonardo Da Vinci's Codex Leicester. The first six pages of the codex bear a random scattering of dots and lines near the page edges. Yet, when overlapped, the distinctive constellation may be plainly seen. Remarkably, one place that the constellation has never been identified is in the heavens above. I have been able to find no identifiable pattern of stars in the northern or southern hemispheres that matches the "squid" constellation depicted on the Order's seal.

From: Who are the Teuthidians? by Samuel Widger (1911)

Agents will immediately forward to my office all documentation relating to investigations into the following groups, and terminate any further investigation into the activities of these groups ... the Teuthidian Order...

Undated memo signed by J. Edgar Hoover (personal papers of Special Agent Timothy Butters)

Many secret societies have vigorously undertaken to eliminate all mention of their existence from historical records. If any group has been more successful than the Teuthidian Order in this endeavor, it is evident only through the utter lack of evidence.

From: Deducing History by Dr. Quentin Armstrong (1951)

There are ... the order toothedian (sic) they are aware of this. Bathing in seawater for several hours daily will eliminate the rash and the discomfort.

Reading by Edgar Cayce (February 11, 1934)

It was March 16, 1926, that Bob Goddard and I launched "Nell" -- the first liquid-fueled rocket. Just before we let it fly, Bob stepped up to it and used a piece of chalk to mark 13 dots (a sort of drunken-looking "S") on the rocket. He connected the dots, muttered something in Latin (I think), turned to me and said "that's for luck, and remember that you never saw me do it." Then he handed me a blowtorch attached to a pole and told me to heat up the igniter casing. That got it started and Bob pressurized the LOX and gasoline and it gave off a roar. Nell went up with a whoosh and came back down a few seconds later with a crash. I said, "That was luck?" Bob said, "it didn't hit us - that lucky enough for you?"

From: Doc Goddard and Me by Henry Sachs (1937)

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