The Cafe

FUN: CAPTION THIS!: GALLERY: 2006 We supply the picture, you supply the caption!

You can play too! Caption This!

01/2006 02/2006
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Nobody mentioned that this was one of the side-effects of Vioxx! (Chip)

"Captain, Shields will not hold much longer! ...and Yarnell has already collapsed!" (figgy)

"Damn those Tytlal and their genetic cream pies!" (Vilyehm)

I wasn't always like this...but then...that one night...when my parents forgot to lock their door first.... (Min Donner)

Graphic proof that women are, indeed, the wicker sex. (Shadow)

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Nice costume, dude. You do know this is the line for the midnight showing of Lord of the Rings, don't you? (figgy)

Peek a boo. Peeeeek a boo! Who's a good death clone then? Peeky? Peeky, peeky? (anaparenna)

This looks like a stylised drawing of Italy.... (BLRWIZ)

"It's your own fault. You should have gone before we left the Deathstar." (Shadow)

The other kids at Evil Minion High mocked Quajon Ginda Bob because all he had was a burlap helmet to cover his head since his parents were too poor to afford the really cool laser deflecting plastic ones. (Min Donner)

"Nobody expects the Fannish Inquisition." (Shadow)

03/2006 04/2006
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"Sooo James, how do you propose to save our sorry asses this time???" (Schmuck)

I am not going to be the first one to touch it... (BLRWIZ)

Good news, gentlemen.... our missiles are now locked onto Santa's sleigh. (figgy)

"What makes yoo think yoo can write a caption for me, ya pansy." (Vilyehm)

Vowing never to come to another Hoboken SciFi Convention, Sean Connery and the other losing nominees watch as once again Craig T Nelson accepts the award for "Best Washed Up Actor to Appear in a Made-for-Scifi-Channel Original Movie" for his performance in "Ugh, Slugs." (Min Donner)

Industrial Lights and Mirrors in cooperation with Necromancy Productions and Henson Reanimatronics, presents a Quentin Tarentino production starring Brian Keith, Natalie Wood, Karl Malden and featuring Sean Connery in FINDING MR. FRENCH VOL. 1 (Shadow)

What do you mean that no one brought the potato salad? (BLRWIZ)

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"Dave...my mind is going...I can feel it...I can feel it." (figgy)

The first prototype for Marge Simpson. (Karen)

Now where did I park my StarShip? (BLRWIZ)

As the bubble rapidly expanded above her head, Natasha concluded that the combination of bean burritos, pantyhose and a rigid pressure suit should probably be avoided in future EVA exercises. (Shadow)

"I thought you said I would be starring in a sequel to STAR WARS, not STAR WHORES!!!" (Schmuck)

By golly, it is full of milk! (Araius)

"Howie Mandel aint the only one that can blow up a cond--hey, no reservoir tip." (Vilyehm)

"Luke I am your Mother" (Rodman)

It was fans like these that made Grace regret changing the name from Jefferson Airplane to Jefferson Starship. (Min Donner)

"Still in its original packaging!", Dave exclaimed as he added a new head to his 70's Hair Cut Collection. (Min Donner)

05/2006 06/2006
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Insert your own tasteless Karen Carpenter joke here. (StompTokyo)

"I thought you said 'MENACE -a- trois!'" (Shadow)

"If I recall the conversation correctly, you said 'I'd like to jump your bones.'" (Shadow)

I am happy to see you, and yes, that is a skeleton in my pocket. (figgy)

Following the announcement of plans to film Atlas Shrugged, Angelina Jolie and her brother share a celebratory moment over the rapidly spinning corpse of Ayn Rand. (figgy)

"KEY" you idiot!! I said bring a skeleton KEY. (Min Donner)

Honey, I thought the gold was in his pocket. (Araius)

"OK. NOW I can believe that part about chrome and a trailer hitch." (Vilyehm)

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The worst side-effects of Lasik eye surgery were discovered too late. (StompTokyo)

What big teeth you have, Grandmama...oops, sorry... lost my place. (figgy)

It's Bad Willow's sister!! (Karen)

After the freak ViewMaster accident that deprived her of both her eyes and her career in contact lens quality control, the nearly destitute Mildred would frequently smuggle black olives off the Sizzler salad bar to feed her children at home. (Shadow)

Those rumors are just not true. I am not a homicidal manic. TRUST ME.... (BLRWIZ)

In conclusion children, donít end up like me, and make sure you pay attention when you mom tells you not to sit too close to the TV. (Min Donner)

But in blacklight, one's pink and the other's green. (Vilyehm)

07/2006 08/2006
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Mickey Rooney wakes up after falling asleep in the sun. (StompTokyo)

Grandma, what big eyes you have! Grandma, what big ears you have! (Karen)

I don't think that this dating service is all that it was hyped up to be? (BLRWIZ)

Centuries after the longevity gene was isolated and immortality treatments became commonplace, Prince Charles would occasionally daydream about the golden years, when succession seemed imminent and it didn't appear that Camilla could get any uglier. (Shadow)

I am NOT sitting too close to the television! (figgy)

This year's award for best sculpture using Pasture Patties goes to Bo Hinkley for his piece entitled "Yoda, Reclining". (Min Donner)

SWM, good listener, likes moonlight walks ISO SWF. Looks not important, just be easy on the eyes. (figgy)

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Too much CGI can kill plesiosaurs. (StompTokyo)

"Oh my God, they killed Nessie!" "You bastards!" (figgy)

In attempting to clone a plesiosaur from blood cells in an amber-trapped mosquito, JP Lab scientists decided to replace interstitial genetic material in broken DNA strands with that of an opossum. Though indistinguishable from classic reconstructions of a plesiosaur, the "Pogosaur" utilized a highly unorthodox and frequently hilarious method of acquiring its prey. (Shadow)

With the success of the Battlestar Galactic remake, totally reworked so only the name is recognizable from the original, The SciFi Channel, in conjunction with Sid and Marty Kroft Productions, brings you this years new breakout hit "Sigmund the Sea Monster : Johnny and Scott Must Die!" (Min Donner)

09/2006 10/2006
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That's it. The Koreans aren't allowed to do special effects anymore. (StompTokyo)

This is what happened when Supergirl got some kryptonite contaminated celluite cream. (BLRWIZ)

... the live-action film adaptation of Maurice Sendak's literary works... (figgy)

If nobody has an umbrella, let's get the hell out of the line of fire. He just drank an entire brewery. (Vilyehm)

After a particularly regrettable one night stand, Travis callously hit the gas as soon as she stepped out of the car. (Shadow)

"Man, this border patrol job is getting tougher every day!" (Schmuck)

With the accidental awakening of Godzilla, North Korea could no longer hide the fact they were testing nuclear weapons. (Min Donner)

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Actual footage of a meeting at Microsoft headquarters. (StompTokyo)

The weekly meeting of Apes Anoymous. AA (BLRWIZ)

.. Duck season! ... (figgy)

Though they were from opposite sides of the Time Tracks, Penny and Ungo shared no spoken words but were fluent in the "language of love," which was why Penny had to resort to handing Ungo the carcass while pantomiming "the rabbit died." (Shadow)

Waiter, there's a hare in my soup. (mtoney)

Trying to rein in her frustration with the Aborigine crew, Terri Irwin once again explains that they are to only use the camera when she yells, “shoot the rabbit”. (Min Donner)

11/2006 12/2006
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We came up with a bunch of jokes for this picture, but we couldn't print any of them. (StompTokyo)

Jed, move away from there! (figgy)

In this week's "Cold Case Files", Bobbie Sue Henson, chief forensic investigator for Natchez Co. Mississippi, has spent over 300 hours of her own time dusting every small rivulet and runoff pool from the upper Yalobusha to the lower Yazoo river for prints, in an effort to solve the perplexing and curiously crossover mystery of why Billy Joe McAllister jumped off the Tallahatchie bridge. (Shadow)

"This may not be the fountain of youth, but it sure makes a good nail polish remover!" (Schmuck)

Inspector Clouseau finds Sarah's aunt to be acting strangely upon the discovery of the murdered rubber plant. (figgy)

"At Tom's of Maine, our motto is 'More Natural Than Snapple!', which is why we test our natural toothpaste springs, daily, for any accidental surface contamination from sparkles, stripes, or incidental breath freshener runoff." (Shadow)

"Yes Watson, Milk. Which means the killer is none other then the Cow of the Baskervilles." (Min Donner)

We have hit the gold mine...It isn't natural gas or oil...It's a natural deposit of Elmer's Glue. (BLRWIZ)

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Santa--now with Intel inside! (Chip)

Developed under exclusive contract by Sharper Image, the "Elvenator 6000" allowed Kringle 47 to control all Santa's Helpers, in every shopping center worldwide, in realtime. It also doubled as an espresso machine that pumped caffeine directly into the brain, and, like all Sharper Image products, was guaranteed not to appreciably freshen the air. (Shadow)

"Christmas is futile!" (Shadow)

Why, yes, I am a little teapot! (figgy)

o/~ Cy-lon night, ho-ly night... o/~ (figgy)

Ha! Your mistletoe is no match for my TOW missile! (Futurama)

When not busy with the I/O Tower, Dumont likes to play Santa Claus for the little programs. (Figure out that reference!) (Min Donner)

That's The Last TIme That I Go To This Hairdresser. (BLRWIZ)

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